There was a woman and her daughter.
Came to visit the shop of Barley Porter,
He said "You'll find some nice things there",
And the bargains really made her stare.
Barley has clothes of every hue,
Serge is of the finest navy blue:
Sports coats, jumpers and stylish hose,
And the very best in underclothes.

If you wish to get married, why, do so,
But mind find the best shop for your Trouseau,
If you want to save cash and not make a hash,
Go to Barley's, The Stores, and just do so.

For Blankets and Sheets, and linen all white,
The best you can get, the print is all right,
The people in Town and country all round,
Go to Barley's The Stores, and find it is sound.

You get what you want, and that of the best,
Not a cow for a horse and everything messed,
You get weight and measure, no more and no less,
Go to Barley's, The Stores, you'll find it the best.

I once new a man go to Town for fresh air,
He said what he got at home wasn't clear
Ho bought a new suit, and got a misfit,
Go to Barley's, The Stores, you'll never get bit.

Its funny the people from Brandon all round
Go to Barley's, The Stores, and find it is sound,
From Hockwold and Wilton, the people all say
Go to Barley's, The Stores, you'll find it does pay.

For Five Mile and The Hythe, we'll build an air ship,
So that you people can have a cheap trip,
For Boots, Hats and Caps, you must come sometime
To Barley's, The Stores, to get the best lines.

For Carpets and Rugs, from Methwold they come,
His Boots are the best, they're such a small sum,
His Sugar and Tea is the sweetest and best,
Go to Barley's, The Stores, if you would be blessed.

Read Hugh Vincent's account of working for Barley Porter.